International (And China) Litigation. The Questions To Ask.

Like every lawyer in the Western World, I love reading Above the Law for its salacious gossip. My favorite item was many years ago when they posted on the (completely untrue) rumor that my law firm was in merger talks with Baker & McKenzie. It is not the site on which one expects to see a really top-notch article on international litigation.

But there it was,?"Inside Straight, Overseeing International Litigation, by Mark Herrmann, an in-house lawyer with AON and author of?The Curmudgeon's Guide to Practicing Law. ?Hermann has learned international litigation by virtue of being "ultimately responsible for all litigation filed against my company anywhere in the world." Hermann gives an excellent primer on the questions to pose to "outside counsel overseas:"?

• Do you have juries in your country for a case such as mine??
• Does the losing party pay the winning party’s legal fees??
• Is it possible to learn before trial what evidence the other side is likely to present in court? If so, is that procedure restricted to learning in advance what documents the other side will offer, or are we allowed to put the other side’s witnesses under oath and learn before trial what the oral trial testimony is likely to be??
• Is it possible to get out of a lawsuit before a trial is held? If so, when will we have those opportunities, and what standards will the court apply? ?
• Can we trust the judicial system, or are the judges typically corrupt?

These are all good questions and here are a few more that I typically ask when I am overseeing international litigation:

• ?If we win, how can we collect?
• ?Do judges care much about live witnesses or are documents everything/nearly everything?
• How long from filing until trial?
• What do we need to do to get evidence from the other side? From third parties?
• Do cases usually settle before trial? In the United States, something like 98% of all civil cases settle before trial. In China it "feels" like 98% go to trial.
• What do you charge? Can lawyers take cases on a contingency fee basis?
• What do we need to do to make sure we win this case?

Any more?

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21 Questions Ahead of the Midnight Screenings of Burlesque

I’ll be there. You’ll be there. The glitter-caked hopes of a generation will be there. A drag queen with a “Half-Breed” outfit will be there. But most of all, utter skepticism will be there. I’m talking about tonight’s midnight Burlesque premiere, which will raise the stakes on burlesque-themed cinema for weeks to come. To prepare ourselves for the gala at hand, let’s line up the 21 biggest questions that need to be answered by tomorrow morning — when the magic, rouge, and absinthe have faded.

1.) Will Christina be going for Dreamgirls Oscar angst? If so, will her Razzie nomination ruin her?

2.) Is this movie “drag” fabulous, “camp” fabulous, or “ghetto” fabulous? Or regular “ghetto”?

3.) Is there a song in the movie that does not feature the word “burlesque”?

4.) How much of director Steve Antin’s sister Robin, the Pussycat Doll organizer/wrangler, will sneak into my good time?

5.) Does Burlesque star Cher, Christina Aguilera, and Stanley Tucci? Or does it star Meryl Streep as Cher, Christina Aguilera, and Stanley Tucci?

6.) How many times will Cam Gigandet refer to Christina Aguilera’s Iowa-born character as “Iowa”?

7.) Does Burlesque understand that any semblance of a real plot will be insulting to me?

8.) Will Stanley Tucci “out-Cher” Cher?

9.) Is Kristen Bell cleared for working it?

10.) Is it only right if I arrive in a hazmat suit (a la Silkwood) and cry “Karen got cooked!” every time Cher acts a little radioactive?

11.) Does director Steve Antin know that it is often time for Christina to stop talking?

12.) Will Alan Cumming, who plays “the gender-bending host,” ever actually say the word “cabaret”? If he does, can I crawl under my seat, through a hatch, and out of the theater?

13.) Are Cher’s magician jacket and leotard proportionate?

14.) Is this movie going to pretend to understand Los Angeles, in that whimsy-tinged (500) Days of Summer way? Come now.

15.) Will Burlesque patronize us with heterosexuality?

16.) How often are audience members allowed to stand up and politely state, “I am having a great time.”

17.) Which actors will succumb to Cher’s influence and adopt her glamorous Yogi Bear patois when speaking to her?

18.) How will this movie affect the white community?

19.) I will be 40% drunk for this showing. Common sense indicates I should aim for 300%. Am I forgetting to live my best life now?

20.) Can this movie end any other way than with Cher breaking a fountain over Christina’s face — before they both trip and fall into another, larger fountain? On a stage? Inside another fountain?

21.) Can we just call it Masque?

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